


I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

by FoxGamer429



Series: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Diary/Journal, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mystery, Secret Identity, Secrets, Umbrella Academy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGamer429/pseuds/FoxGamer429
Summary: AU:Edward is not a rogue, but Jon still is. Jon is trying(and, shocker;Succeeding!) To hide his status as a rogue. He still has his teaching job, as both a cover and so he has an excuse as to where the extra money comes fromSurprise, surprise. Ed is suspiciousIncluding:Forensics! Ed and Teacher! Jon
Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma
Series: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793335
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

_Dear Journal,_

_Jonathan was home late again. This time, however, he did call and say he was running late, so that was different_

_I'm worried. I know I shouldn't be, but what if something happens? He always returns with SOMETHING on his shirt, whether it be this weird Yellow liquid or-worst case scenario, blood._

_I'm going to have to figure out what that yellow liquid is._

_But until then, so long_

* * *

Jon needed to be more careful, because Edward was getting suspicious.

Ed CAN NOT be suspicious, because Jon knows that when Ed is suspicious, he starts investigating. And when Ed starts investigating, he makes sure that he is right.

Edward cannot find out Jonathan is The Scarecrow. Not even the BAT knows he's Scarecrow!(or he does, the Bat never let's others know what he knows) Not even his COLLEAGUES(both Villain and Teaching)know he's Scarecrow.

And he intends to keep it that way

It was hard, sure, but it worked. He bought a warehouse on the docks so that Ed never wanders into the basement and discovers any stray chemicals. He buys all of his Scarecrow gear under a different name, email and bank account. Everything Scarecrow related is done under a different alias.

He doesn't even TALK when he's Scarecrow! Jonathan cannot risk someone he knows as himself tracing his voice in their memories. His costume is bulky, making it hide both his actual height, weight and skin tone. In the eye holes, he put a material that, on one side looks yellow but the other side is clear. So he can see clearly and still make it impossible to decipher his eye color.

Jon has already had so many close calls. From returning home late to having toxin and blood stains on his clothing to cryptic messages to stay away from certain areas that had been gassed, Ed had more than enough evidence to suspect

He starts thinking of ways to stop Eds suspicion. Keeping clean clothes in the warehouse? That'd work. 

"I'm going out!" Jon called. No answer, Ed's probably working on a new project for the GCPD. 

Oh yeah, Ed works for the GCPD

God, Jonathan. Are you an idiot?

You know what?

don't answer that

"Yeah, yeah, just don't be long" Jon heard after a few minutes

"No promises" Jon jokingly said. Well, half jokingly anyway

Jon stopped at Target, where he got most of his clothes anyway. He only got a few plain white T-Shirts, a couple of Flannel shirts, jeans and a jacket. 

His next stop was his warehouse so that he could put them away. He kept a few trunks in there just in case for stuff like this, so it was convenient.

He took a look at his notebook where he kept his toxin notes, nodded, and went back

* * *

"I'm back!" Jon yelled when he came back. 

"Where we're you?" Ed asked from the kitchen

"Just went to the store for some thing's for work" Technically true

"OK" ed mumbled, clearly not fully buying it. Shit

Jon gave Ed a kiss on the cheek before going upstairs and changing into something more comfortable. By that, I mean He put on an oversized gray T-Shirt and flannel pajama pants and called it a day

When Jon left the bedroom, he made a Beeline for the kitchen, sneaking up behind Ed to give him a hug

"What're ya making?" Jon said, resting his head on Ed's shoulders

"I have all the major food groups, but I am not food. I am an appetizer, yet still a full meal. What am I?" Ed simply said, trying to break free from the hug

"Alrighty then" Jon let go, going to the TV and turning something on

"This just in. Recent reports of-"

Preferably not the news

He found Netflix and opened it up. He scrolled for a few seconds before stumbling upon something

Umbrella Academy sounded good

* * *

It was about halfway through the pilot when the soup was done. Ed placed the bowl in front of Jonathan on the table. Jon took a sip of it

"Recipe I found online, hope you like it" Ed said

"I do, thank you" To be fair, Jon could eat a rock and say it was a good, full meal, but that's besides the point

"What're you watching?" Ed asked

"Umbrella Academy. Found it on Netflix"

"Didn't want to watch the news, huh?"

"I never do"

"OK" they sat there, watching the show and having dinner. By the end of the third episode, they both started to doze off, Eddie falling asleep all together. Jon tried to stay awake to pick up Ed and move him to the bedroom, but alas, he was also tired and his bones where spaghetti noodles, so it was failure and he fell asleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit By Future Fox: The Umbrella Academy Show in this AU is different than the actual show. Like, it's still a show about 7 traumatized siblings with superpowers stopping the apocalypse, but they are a different set of traumatized kids then the Hargreaves
> 
> Why do I need to stress this? Well, I realized after posting the second fic in this series that there was a plot hole and felt as though I needed to clarify something
> 
> Yay~


	2. Chapter 2

<2 weeks later, in a vague yet menacing place at the Iceberg Lounge>

"So, what yer sayin' is, ya want me to kill an employee at the GCPD?" Our current Assassin-for-hire asked. This was NOT, however, Deathstroke or Deadshot, because that would be TOO EASY!

"Of your choice, yes" Penguin clarified

"Too get on who's nerves? Gordon's? The Bats?"

"Both, really"

"Why don't you 'ave one of yer lackeys do it?" The Mercenary asked, pouring himself another beer

Penguin shrugged "It's more fun this way" 

"How much you gonna pay me?" At this, Oswald Cobblepot slammed a big ol' bag of money onto the table

"How much is it?" The Assassin asked, becoming more curiouser and curiouser every second

"Oh, I dunno, $100,000?" Penguin said, smirking

* * *

Edward was going to work. He took public transit as he and Jon had only 1 car and their jobs are on the opposite side of town. Jon has offered driving him to work numerous times, but he has refused.

At his stop, he got off and walked the rest of the journey. It wasn't long till he got to the precinct, as the stop was only about a couple blocks at most. He walked in with his head down, trying to be seen as little as possible. Ed felt like the nerd walking through the halls of a high school teen drama, trying to avoid the football players.

The football players being a metaphor-

"Hey! Riddle-man!"

...for the dickhead cops

"What do you want?" Ed spat, too tired to deal with whatever bullshit was about to come out of the poor-excuse-for-a-cops mouth

"Hey, watch your tone with me, mister" The Cop growled

Ed looked the cop up and down dramatically. Of course, he already knew how old the cop was(26, compared to Ed, who was 34) and chuckled

"What's so funny?" The cop offendedly asked

"The fact that you think I'm frightened of someone who is clearly younger and less experienced than me"

"Listen" the cop grabs him by the shirt "Age and experience has nothin' compared to the fact that, after tod-"

"Hey." the commissioner came in right at that very minute "Just what do you think your doing?" 

"Uh..." The cop was at a loss of words. He clearly wasn't expecting the commissioner to come so soon

"Nygma, go to your office. I'll speak to Officer Jackson" Ed nodded, and scurried away to his office

* * *

"Nygma" Commissioner Jim Gordon bursted into the head of forensics office "what happened?"

"Insult, probably too dry response, someone acted like a teacher when the desired response is too dry-" Watch your tone with me, mister', I chuckled and-" Ed waved his hand dramatically "You saw what happened next"

"Wow" Jim was actually impressed "confrontations like this usually are a lot more violent and" Jim tried to think of a word " _insult-y?_ "

Ed ignored the not-really-a-word "I'm to tired to really care" That was actually true, as Ed yawned and was tempted to put his head on the desk right then and there

"What happened?" Jim sat down

"Was working on this" Ed handed the commissioner a folder from his backpack "and was investigating something personal"

"Do I want to know what the personal thing was?"

"Probably not"

"Good" Jim nodded "well, see ya soon?"

Ed huffed "Probably"

"And, get some rest, OK? I'll call if we need you"

Ed was about respond before yawning

* * *

"Any more clues on the identity of our friend from oz?" Alfred, trusty butler of Bruce Wayne, the Batman, asked

"No. They seemed to have taken every precaution possible to make sure I don't find out who they are" Batman said "However, I have narrowed down the suspects"

"And who would they be, if I may ask?"

"I've gotten 5 suspects" Bruce said "Mitchell Michelson:Male, 23,works at Ace Chemicals" He threw down the first picture of an African American man "Alexandra Carson:Female, 20, Psychology Major, Teaching minor" He then threw down the picture of a woman "Jonathan Crane:Male, 35, Psychology professor at Gotham University" He threw down the picture he had of Jonathan "Rey Tyler:Non-Binary, 21, Engineering Major" He threw down a picture of a person with light copper skin and mid-length brown hair"And finally,

Edward Nygma:Male, 34, Forensic scientist for the GCPD"

* * *

"You do realize that your reasons for suspecting most of them are quite a stretch?" Alfred said after hearing the billionaire's reasoning

"Of course, but they all fit the bill:They all haven't been reported at the scenes of Scarecrows Crimes, most fit what I expect Scarecrows physical build to be, most have access to the chemicals necessary for the fear toxin" Bruce looked at Alfred "You see my point, don't you?"

The aging Butler sighed "Of course, Master Bruce"

Bruce began to put back on his cowl "I'm going to go interrogate them"

"While I cannot stop you, I do request that you don't hang any of them off of the rooftops"

Bruce was puzzled "I only do that when they are uncooperative"

Alfred raised his eyebrow

Bruce grounded "fine"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Western US:We're going to reopen schools tomorrow!
> 
> A Fucking Firenado:Are you sure about that?


	3. Chapter 3

Bruce decided to kill three birds with one stone and interrogated the Gotham University suspects all at once.

Jonathan and Alexandra were easy, as they where in the same room at the same time. All he had to do was drop by and kidnap them from the Psychology classroom in a split second.

"Is there a reason you interrupted our class, Mr. Batman" Jonathan had to keep things at least a _little_ formal, even if he is pissed off with him 24/7

"Yes" Batman's gruff voice responded

"I think you should be checked for throat cancer..." Alexandra sighed. The Bat ignored her statement

Bats then threw them both onto the roof

" _talk"_

"About what?" Crane asked "What are we supposed to talk about?"

"Y-Yeah!" Alex followed

"Scarecrow"

"What about them?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow at the unexpected statement. After a brief moment of realization, Alex chuckled "I get it! You think that they're one of us, right?" 

"Not necessarily either of you, but you are suspect's" Batman corrected

Jonathan got up off of the roof "Well, I'm sorry to ask this but, what is your basis for suspecting either of us? Also, you hinted at more suspects, care sharing who they are?" 

Just so we're clear, Jon is only asking as to make sure that Edward wasn't a suspect

"Well, there are 3 more suspects. Another Gotham U student, an employee at Ace chemicals, and a forensic scientist for the GCPD"

....shit

A few seconds later, Jon got a phone call. He put his index finger up and moved to the side of the building, taking the call

"Hey, Ed. How are you?"

"I'm sorry, this is Commissioner Jim Gordon of the GCPD"

Jon was both confused and worried"What do you need, Commissioner? Is Ed OK?"

"There was a shooting at the precinct." Jon's eyes widen "Edward is alive, but he's unconscious and is still loosing a ton of blood

none of us know if-" Jon didn't have to hear the rest of it, since he was already running.

* * *

Jon got to Gotham General as fast as he could. Thankfully, it was only a few blocks away from Gotham University, so he could walk there on foot and didn't have to use up precious time to get the car going.

When he got to the hospital, he immediately saw the dear police commissioner and stomped over to him

"Mr Cra-" Gordan started, but was promptly cut off by Jonathan

"Where is he?!"

A nurse came by at the exact moment he said that. "Are you Mr. Crane?"

"Yes?" He responded with some venom on his voice

"I'll take you to Mr. Nygma's room" Jonathan followed the nurse up the Elevator and on to the 3rd floor.


	4. Chapter 4

"Here we are" The nurse said, quietly opening the door to the hospital room that was supposedly Edwards. Jon nodded, mumbling a thank you to the nurse, who quietly left the professor to his business.

"Hey, Eddie? Are you awake?" Jon asked, already knowing that the answer was no. Jon sighed, pulling up a nearby armchair and placing it by the bedside before sitting down. Jon picked up Edwards hand and held it for a minute-maybe an hour.

"Excuse me?" The nurse from earlier said, standing in the doorway. Jonathan was tempted to glare at her, tell her to leave him to sulk over his sleeping boyfriend in peace. he pushed these urges down for the moment "Am I interrupting anything?" She asked, oblivious to the feelings he was having about her presence 

_Yes, actually_ "No, your not" He lied with a smile

"Oh, good" She breathed a sigh of relief "I'm just gonna-" the nurse slipped in to grab a stack of papers and quickly typed something into the computer before leaving the professor of psychology to his sadness

* * *

"How is he?" Jon asked. The doctor, who Jon had seen a few times when he came in to check on Edward, sighed

"Edward will remain unconscious for approximately a month" Jon's eyes widen while the Doctor rummaged around the table looking for something

"What? Ho-why?" 

The doctor didn't answer, instead walking out of the room with no explanation after finding what he needed

_Well screw you too_

The nurse came back a second later l, who Jon supposed was standing in the doorway the entire time and listening in on his and the "Doctor"'s conversation

"Sorry about him. But to answer your question; he had lost a lot of blood from the shooting, even more during the ambulance ride, no matter what the paramedics tried" Jonathan nodded in understanding. He didn't like it, but he understood what had happened

* * *

_Dear Students,_

_I will-unfortunately-not be present for class for approximately 1-2 weeks._

_I will still be expecting you all to be studying, however, so you should expect a quiz as soon as I get back_

_If you have any questions about your work, feel free to e-mail me at JCrane@gothamschools.net_

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Crane_

* * *

"Whad'ya think happened?" One of the Psychology students asked their friend group

"I think he was abducted by aliens" one friend said

"No, he was definitely run over by a tractor" another corrected the one friend

"5 bucks on "stolen in his sleep'" one betted, already pulling out money

"What are you guys talking about?" Rey Tyler, an engineering major, asked their friend group, which was primarily composed of psychology majors

"Professor Crane's not gonna be in class for a coupl'a weeks" the friend who bet on the teacher being abducted in his sleep said

"Isn't that the one who you guys said was a harda-" Rey started to ask before being interrupted

"OK, you" The one who asked the question pointed to the better "Are wrong. He couldn't have been taken in his sleep since he doesn't sleep in the first place!" That was when an argument ensued over why the good professor was not going to be showing up for class while Rey just...walked away

* * *

Over the two weeks he was absent, Jonathan had gotten alot of emails. Most hid the fact that they where wondering where he was pretty well, some didn't try to hide it at all.

When he got back, he found out that what happened over the past two weeks became the gossip of the whole campus. So, it was no surprise that the first question that was asked the first period of the day was:

"Where were you?"

Jon sighed "I would've liked it if the question was concerning the lesson"

"Oh..."

"But" He took off his glasses to quickly clean them "I guess it would be fair to tell you. Does anyone have any theories?" Every hand in the classroom shot up "one at a time, you" he pointed to a student

"Kidnapped" 

"You"

"Abducted by aliens"

"You" 

"Run over by a tractor"

Jon rolled his eyes. "You"

"Anger management?"

"You"

"Therapy" "THATS WHAT I SAID!"

"You"

"Personal therapist for Bruce Wayne?"

This went on for about 15 minutes, getting everyone's assumptions out of the way before he told them

"Alright, Now I'll tell you" He breathed "did you hear on the news what happen at the GCPD?'

"The shooting? Yeah" a student in the fronts row answered. The students' eyes widen at the realization "Did-"

"Yes" Jon answered before the question could be asked. "He's alive, don't worry" 

_Hypocrite_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the doctor is a shitty doctor
> 
> Also, I like to headcanon that Jon was a really good teacher? who genuinely cared about what the students thought and wants them to succeed in his class? even though it is hard?Like, he won't hold your hand or anything, but he is there to help if you genuinely need it?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gasps* Whats this? A new chapter? And one that ties in to the second part of this AU?

"dad?" Allison called out while waking into the batcave. None of the children(Now, Adults) had heard from him in a few days, so most of them where worried. 

"Yeah?" a voice called back. Allison let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh good" She let out "What are you working on?" She asked her father

"A case" Bruce mumbled, being as uninformative as possible

"What kind of case?" She asked, trying her damdist not to use her power

Bruce sighed, knowing that with a few more lines of dialogue between them, she was going to rumor him "I'm trying to figure out who 'The Scarecrow' is. I have suspects, yet one is currently in the hospital"

"Who are your suspects?" Allison asked, sitting down in a spare chair that was im the Cave when someone wanted to come down here because they where bored

"An Ace Chemicals employee, a couple of University students, a University Professor and a GCPD employee" Allison raised an eyebrow

"How did you narrow the suspects down?" She asked

"Never at the sight of an attack, height, approximate weight, plus have never been reported with signs of fear toxin effects"

"Thats...very loose criter-"

"Thats what Alfred said" Bruce said, interrupting his daughter "But it did help me narrow down suspects"

"Okay.." Allison mumbled "You should probably have Diego interrogate the GCPD suspect"

"That..." Bruce thought about it for a second "...is actually a good idea"

Allison smirked

When Bruce was done in the cave, he got his phone out and dialed his sons number

 _"D- Diego Wayne here, what d'ya n-need?_" The other side of the phone said with his noticeable stutter. it had gotten better over time, but it was still there

"Hello, Diego" Bruce said

" _H-Hey, dad"_

"I was calling to ask you a question"

" _shoot"_

"I need you to investigate someone"

" _R-Real Specific"_

"I'll send you the information by mail"

" _Why n-not tell m-me right n-now?"_

"..." Bruce was quiet, as he didn't know how to respond to that

" _Right, nothing can ever be easy"_

"you know what? Just, stop by. Please" Bruce didn't know if it was desperation or if he was just tired of this conversation, but he hung up before Diego could respond

"Alright, I'm h-here" Diego said, walking into the bat cave "Wha'dya want?"

Bruce handed the file for the case over to Diego. The ladder looked at it with skepticism

"Your still working on this?"

"Of course!" Bruce answered, slightly offended that Diego thought he wasn't "You haven't?"

"Honestly, w-we just gave up"

"Of course" Bruce murmured "Anyways" he pointed to the picture of Edward in the open file "You know him, correct?"

"Not personally, but I have w-worked with him on more than one occasion"

"Great"

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna ask me about my fics(or just wanna chat, that works to) I do have a tumblr, https://fox-the-writer.tumblr.com/


End file.
